It all started with no poo.

Now I know what you’re thinking (or at least I know what I’d be thinking if I read that): why the hell is she telling us about her toilet difficulties? And I’m telling you that today, or this weekend at least, with a touch of a norovirus my toileting difficulties are quite the opposite of what you’re thinking.

Ahem. TMI?

Anyways, no poo: the art of cleaning your scalp without shampoo. For the last while, I’ve been diligently cleaning my hair with baking soda and apple cider vinegar (ACV) – not at the same time, mind you. Doing that is sort of…interesting (I did it accidentally when I mixed up the bottles, okay?). I have a couple of old plastic containers that used to contain Rooster Sauce (washed in the dishwasher because hot sauce on my head? ouch). I mix up solutions of baking soda and water and ACV and water, wash my scalp with the soda, rinse, and then rinse the ends of my hair with the ACV solution.

So in addition to the baking soda in my pantry and laundry room, I also have a container of ACV. Oh and coconut oil.

A few months ago, the Poptart started getting some really ugly red, dry patches on her legs and complained that they were itchy. So I bought a package of silly-expensive colloidal oatmeal bath at the pharmacy, washed her in it and the next day the patches were 90% better.

And then I promptly forgot about it. Until she started scratching and complaining again. So I went to three different drugstores and none of them had it. In a rare moment of brilliance, I googled “colloidal oatmeal” and realized I could make my own.

I came home, popped the oatmeal in the coffee grinder and ground away until it got fine and powdery. I tossed it in the bath and tossed the Poptart in and now she demands her oatmeal baths.

So finely ground oatmeal joined the cast of characters in my pantry and on my bathroom counter.

I started noticing after a few of these that, not only was her skin healing, but her hair was amazingly soft and shiny. I’d experienced some dry scalp and breakage with the whole no poo thing, which I kept at bay with bi-weekly coconut oil treatments (which, while they work, are time consuming and the oil is a pain in the arse to get out). So I thought I’d try some oatmeal on my hair in the shower one night.

And the next day, my hair was soft and shiny too! and no itchy scalp! I’d scrubbed my face with some leftover oatmeal and my skin was soft too.

Yesterday, I was in the pool for 3 hours and broke the cardinal rule of Being In the Pool: If You Are In the Pool for More than An Hour, Wear a Swim Cap. I scrubbed my scalp and hair when I got home, but today my hair was dry and crispy.

I’d moisturized my face with coconut oil, but was too lazy last night to do the coconut oil treatment. My norovirus decided to make an encore appearance today, so I decided it was a good idea not to voyage too far from the bathroom and called in sick.

When I woke up again, I felt somewhat better and decided today was a good day to do something about the crispy state of my hair. I toddled into the kitchen and found half a (very ripe) avocado and 2/3 of a banana left over from the poptart’s breakfast (all nicely blackened on the skin).

I mushed those up with a bit of olive oil and put it on my hair. Then I wrapped a plastic bag around my head and watched an episode of Jekyll on Netflix. Then I had a shower.

I still had to use actual shampoo on my hair to get all the oil out. I am not a huge fan of the residual banana smell, but my hair is soft and manageable and not crunchy or frizzy.

And I’m now contemplating a countertop cooler for my bathroom. So I don’t have to keep the avocado-banana paste separate from it’s other bathroom friends.

What sorts of unusual, weird, or non-mainstream beauty rituals or products do you have/use?

My kid is (un)lucky enough to have a history of breast cancer on both sides of the family. I’d really like to leave a future for her where there are guaranteed cures and preventions for breast cancer. Just in case so that if she’s affected, the treatment she needs is available.

Last year, after my mom was diagnosed, I decided to actually do something about it and I decided to do the Run for the Cure. Alexis joined me and we formed a 2-person team called Bloggers for Boobies.

Photo take by Tracey @tjrossignol

And then more people joined and all of a sudden there were 10 of us.

Together we raised over $2000 for breast cancer research.

This year, my dream is to have a Bloggers for Boobies national team. The Run for the Cure happens in many cities and areas all across Canada. If you get 10 people in at least 2 locations, you have a national team.

Requirements (these are flexible):

1. Must have boobs, or know someone who has boobs
2. Must be generally supportive of boobs and good booby health*
3. Must not mind bloggers who may randomly stop to send a text or tweet while doing the run 
4. Should be able to run or walk 5K (or however you usually get around – crawling is not recommended as the runs often take place on concrete and that can be hard on the knees). Scooters and roller blades are not allowed for safety reasons, but strollers are welcome.**
5. Must be willing to fundraise or pay the entry fee (usually around $40)
6. Must not mind wearing a team shirt that says “Bloggers for Boobies” on it (see above for example).
7. Be available Sunday, September 30, 2012 for a couple of  hours in the morning.

*Note, this does not mean you have to hold the boobs while you’re running. Hopefully you (and the people you know who have boobs) have good, supportive bras.

Since it’s actually too early to sign up for the 2012 Run for the Cure, I’ve set up a tracking form. You can also fill it out by clicking the Bloggers for Boobies 2012 page at the top. If you’d like to participate, please fill it out.Even if you’re not in Canada, you can pick the “Virtual” location.

When the time comes, I’ll register the team and let everyone know.

If you have problems filling out the form, email me at rtissues(at)gmail(dot)com or on twitter @Nicole013.

I would really like this to succeed so register as many people as you like – family, friends, your mother in law. And think about having a future for all our kids free from this cancer.

All photos in this post borrowed with permission Tracey (@tjrossignol) from her Flickr account.

Resolution #1: Fit into a size 10-12 by my birthday

It’s hard to tell at this point. I think my pants feel a bit looser and I’m down a few pounds for sure. I just refuse to get into the rollercoaster of stepping on the scale. I have been eating better, especially breakfast and not eating after dinner’s done. I’ve been starting with soup or salad as much as possible and eating slower.

I got unexpectedly swamped at work when a coworker had a family emergency and another coworker was injured for the first three weeks of the year. So I haven’t been focusing on food too much, and breaking the one soda/no booze during the week (although, it’s coke zero with a splash of rye).

But this week is another week, right? Baby steps, people, baby steps.

Resolution #2: Get off the Zoloft

I’m down from 50mg to 25mg. Next week, I go to ever other day.

I’ve had some other stuff going on: an earache for the last couple of weeks (complete with vertigo! and nausea! and no! I’m not pregnant!) and I have an appointment with an EENT on January 31 to go over what’s been going on. I had my head radiated sinus x-rays a couple of weeks ago and will find out this Tuesday what, if anything is going on. I’m kind of worried he’ll take one look at me and say “Oh there’ s nothing wrong with you“. Combined with the unexpected swampedness at work, I wasn’t ready to go cold turkey on the zoloft.

Resolution #3: Complete the Couch to 5K program by March 15

I’ve been mostly successful in this one. We had a stretch of snow, followed by rain so I took a few days off running. BUT on those days I used some torture devices Jillian Michaels workouts and accidentally stumbled into a circuit training class at work one night when I was looking to kill some time before a meeting. 30 Day Shred + circuit training (awesome instructor) + Ripped in 30 = not being able to go down stairs very well for a couple of days.

But pffft. Am not a wimp, no pain, no gain, right?

(Except, apparently, when it comes to snow. And cold wind)

In fact, the first run after the snow, I almost enjoyed. I like the c25K app because I can run it in the background on my ‘droid while listening to a book or music. It tells me when to run, when to walk and when I’m halfway so I know when to turn around.

Even though I took a couple of days off running, I still managed to get to the next week of C25K and I think I’m on track to finish by March 15.

So a mixed bag. February will be more about focusing on food amounts and quality, since I’m a firm believer that, at the end of the day, it’s really about the quantity of energy you stuff in your maw that lets you fit into a smaller size.

Did you make resolutions this year? How are they going?

I also loved the Garfield cartoon specials. I had them all (recorded on VHS, of course, from the TV), so when the opportunity came to share Garfield with the Poptart, I immediately said “yes”.

The other weekend (when I wasn’t feeling well), I popped The Garfield Show: Dinosaurs & Other Animal Adventures video in the DVD player. The menu screen shows a few scrolling scenes from the six episodes on the disc so she was able to pick one that interested her.

We started the episode and she was immediately entranced. Although the cartoons are no longer hand-drawn, and I don’t think Jim Davis has much to do with it, the antics of Garfield, Odie and their friends bring back a lot of fun memories. And the fact that I can share this with my daughter means a lot to me.

The best part is that she seems to love Garfield as much as I did. She’ll ask to see the video or part of it about once a day.

And for you, I have a copy of the video to give away. Just leave a comment by January 31 answering the question, “What’s the thing from your childhood you wish you could share with a small person in your life (or a big person, if you have no small people)?

Open to people with a Canadian or US mailing address. Winner will be picked at random with the “And the winner is” plugin.

Disclaimer: I was given a copy of the DVD for review purposes. All opinions are my own.

Me: “So for years and years I’ve had ear pain and every time I go to a doctor, they look and tell me nothing’s wrong. My sinuses are draining into my throat today, and I had vertigo all weekend.”

Doctor: [getting ear/nose light thing] Mmm-hmmmm. [looks into my ear] [snickers]

Me: You’re going to tell me there’s nothing wrong, aren’t you?

Doctor: Well, looking at it, there isn’t anything wrong. [busts a gut laughing]

Then he gave me a requisition for sinus x-rays and a referral to an EENT*.

How was your Monday?

*Seriously, I have seen probably a dozen doctors over the years about this. He’s the first one who’s done anything beyond taking a took at my ear with the ear/nose light thing.

This year, I turn 36. Weightwise and clothing wise I am the largest I have ever been (aside from when I was pregnant). I need to dump some of this weight for a variety of reasons.

Resolution #1: Fit into a size 10-12 by September 2

I’m currently trending around a 14-16, depending on the manufacturer. Ultimately, I’d like to get down to an 8 to 10. I’m hoping I’ll feel better, generally when I lose the first 10 or so pounds.

To this end I am:

• making a big batch of bean soup (2 varieties)
• eating something (a carb and a protein) within an hour of getting up
• planning breakfasts and lunches, with a focus on greens and protein
• starting with soup or salad at dinner to fill up
• Not eating after 8pm
• limiting myself to alcohol one day per week
• limiting myself to one calorie free cola/soda drink per day (355ml)

I have a food diary loaded on my tablet with the necessary calculators. I’ll weigh in every Tuesday morning.

Resolution #2: Get off the zoloft

I’ve written before about how I am loathe to get off the zoloft. I feel better than I’ve felt in years on it. That said, I suspect it is a culprit in the weight gain or at least in my ability to lose the weight I’ve gained.

So before I refill my prescription, I’ll make an appointment with my doctor to talk about weaning off. I plan to wean off and see how I feel, then if needed see about a different antidepressant.

Of course, I’ll be doing other things to mitigate the side effects.

Resolution #3: Complete the Couch to 5K program by March 15

When I did the Run for the Cure, I started the Couch to 5K program and I basically completed enough of it to do the run without dying. This time, I bought the full app, and will be starting it January 3rd. The date of March 15 gives me 12 weeks to do a 10 week program. Hopefully the endorphins created with exercise will help with weaning off zoloft.

Do you have any resolutions? Would you like to join me in any of the ones here (obviously the zoloft thing may not be in the books for you)?

2. You get what you asked for and are totally excited about it, especially the carpet cleaner.

3. And when you have to leave the carpet cleaner at your parents’ because you don’t have room in the car due to all the new toddler toys, you are very, very disappointed.

:facepalm:

How was your Christmas? Did you get what you wanted – grown-up stuff or not?

Tomorrow: New Years’ Resolutions

I am a fan of amusement park rides. My first roller coaster was the Scream Machine at Expo ’86; it’s now operating as the Ninja at 6 Flags in St. Louis, Missouri.

I also like the swings. Oh and the tilt a whirl and the teacups. My daughter is pretty much the same – no matter how high we push her on the swing, she always wants, “More swing, Mommy!” You have no idea how much this makes my heart sing.

But it’s been a number of years since I’ve been on an amusement park ride. That doesn’t mean I haven’t been on a rollercoaster this year, mind you. This sort of rollercoaster managed to have highs and lows all at the same time.

My time with Very Large Charitable Organization has come to an end. Because I was loaned out, my employer covered my wages, benefits and some expenses in the form of a smartcar to buzz around to various clients.

Note to self: never buy a smartcar.

Around the same time I started, Darren was laid off. Ultimately the timing for this was great. First, he got to spend time with the Poptart – something he hasn’t been able to do since she was born. They’ve bonded, which for me means she’s becoming a daddy’s girl he can comfort her from time to time (except when she’s sick, of course).

Later in the fall, Darren’s mom had a Major Cardiac Event in the form of a ruptured aorta. She was sent to Vancouver General Hospital, where, deciding it wasn’t enough to have open heart surgery, it would be a good idea to develop pneumonia. And then I blackmailed her into getting better.

At the same time I had some really big wins on some accounts at work – they came in way above expectations.

Darren’s mom was sent back to Kelowna about 10 days after her surgery.

Then the Poptart developed croup. Fever, coughing, wheezing and on Saturday morning, I took her to the hospital for a breathing treatment. The purple-ish lips were a giveaway that she needed some help. That afternoon, she had a 4 hour nap. And spend three days glommed onto me.

Then we dropped $400 on getting some seals in our various sinks replaced. Oh and $600 on snow tires because, hey, Christmas plans changed and in order to drive around in the interior in the winter, you need snow tires.

 I’m ready to go back to my regular job (which honestly, I really like). Darren’s ready to go back to work (he has an offer for starting January 9).

I’m ready to get off the rollercoaster.

Lesson number 1: when your blood pressure is normally low or normally and is all of a sudden fluctuating all over the place, demand tests until you can’t be tested any more.

Not satisfied with, you know, nearly dying and all, she decided to have a side of pneumonia.

Sidenote: as I type this, my father in law and Darren are in the kitchen taking my sink apart to figure out why we have no hot water pressure there.

On Saturday, after her surgery on Friday, she was sitting up, talking and joking with the nurses. Then sometime Saturday night, they had to intubate her because of the pneumonia thing. Sunday we went to visit her and she was still intubated. The Poptart was scared of the cardiac ICU and the tubes, but held up well, especially when the nurses gave her cookies.

Darren was…shaken.

The next day, my FIL flew in to Vancouver. I went by Vancouver General to pick him up and she was still intubated. After talking with the nurses, I formulated a Cunning Plan.

I blackmailed her.

I told her, in no uncertain terms, that if she worked hard, and listened to the nurses, and got rid of the breathing tube, Darren would bring the Poptart by for a visit the next day.

An hour later, they took the breathing tube out.

Last night, my mother in law had an aortic aneurism. She is stable and being flown to Vancouver tomorrow for surgery.

I am a little tired of all of this. So!

Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to leave me stupid or dirty jokes in the comments. I could use a laugh.