Threenager
Alternate Title: The Annual Post Where Mr. Lady hates me
So I would just like you all to know that this:
Becomes this:
And then today became this emo who didn’t want her picture taken:
And when she heard me call her an emo, she asked: “What’s an emo?”
Happy 3rd Birthday, Poptart.
(we are in so much trouble)
What I learned before 10:30am on a Saturday
I’m sharing this with you in the hopes that someone can have a relaxing Saturday
1. If your toddler is in her play tent and suddenly says, “I’m cleaning my bus.” then goes into the kitchen to get a towel, something is wrong.
2. If your toddler is in her play tent, and says, “I’m cleaning my bus” make sure she doesn’t have your container of (dark brown) powdered eyeshadow in there.
3. Never assume that you’ll be able to do things when you planned. Just like I planned to break out the Bissel carpet cleaner tomorrow and ended up having to do it today.
Playground Manners
The Poptart is getting to the age where she’s able to use playground equipment. At the waterpark we go to, there is an extensive playground. Sure most of the equipment says 5 and up, and she’s 27 months, but whatever. She knows to wait for a spotter on ladders and waits at the top of the slide until everyone is clear from her landing zone. She knows how to climb ladders, and onto teeter totters, and to sit on the merry-go-round.
More importantly, if she needs to get through somewhere and someone is blocking her way, she’ll say, “Excuse me.”
Which brings me to my point: playground manners.
At the playground last week, I observed many children, tweens and teens older than her playing on the equipment. That’s all fine and dandy – I love that they’re outside getting fresh air and sunshine and exercise. What I don’t love is when the Poptart said, “Excuse me!” to some of them, they just stared at her like she had 5 heads and didn’t move – except for the one group of tween girls who thought she was the cutest thing ever and apologized to her for being in her way.
The playground I’m talking about has a thing called a Playmotion X-wave2. It’s a pretty cool contraption that kids can walk along and it moves up and down (like a wave) depending on where the most weight is. The Poptart loves to walk along it, with help. Last week, we were walking on it and a much bigger kid (8 or 9, I imagine) plunks himself on the thing a couple of feet in front of her. When she got to him, she said, “Excuse me!” and he just stared at her. She frowned, obviously confused, and said, “Excuse me!” again. When he didn’t move, she pouted and looked at me for help.
I said, “Hey buddy, can we get through? Thanks.”
He sighed, and finally moved off to another piece of equipment. He may have also rolled his eyes.
We continued along the toy, and there was a group of 3 girls – about the same age as the boy – sitting there, also blocking the way. They refused to move as well, when she said, “Excuse me!” 3 times.
By this point I was fairly perturbed – not because they were blocking my kid, but because each time they didn’t move until I, an adult, asked them to. I finally said, “Hey girls, we’d like to get through” and raised my eyebrows at them like I used to when I was a lifeguard and the kids weren’t obeying the pool rules that they knew. They scrambled off pretty quick there, but probably only because I was an authority figure.
My problem with this is twofold.
- It makes me feel old. And by that I mean: why can’t they move when they’re not even using the equipment as it was intended and just blocking it for a 2 year old? Whatever happened to moving out of the way when someone was trying to get through? Whatever happened to manners? Whatever happened to moving out of the way
- It’s potentially teaching the Poptart a few things that I don’t really want her to learn. First, it’s teaching her that she can’t deal with these situations without an adult around. Second, it’s teaching her that manners (saying “Excuse me” when you want to pass) are irrelevant because others don’t follow the same manners.
- Finally, it’s teaching her that she doesn’t have to move until an adult/authority figure says she has to. Put another way, it’s showing her she doesn’t have to respect others’ rights to move around or their rights generally.
I could go here into a slippery slope theory about how this all leads to teenage bullying because there’s no respect.
And yes, I’m judging. I don’t know what happened or when it became okay to intrude on others’ fairly basic rights. I truly believe that unless we start teaching and practicing respect to show our kids, our society is in some deep, deep trouble.
Either that or the next words out of my mouth are going to be, “Get offa my lawn!”
Have you seen these things happening to your kids on the playground or elsewhere? How do you deal with them? How do you teach your kids to deal with them?
An Ode to Two
Oh, how hard it must be to be Two. Your abilities far outstrip your judgment and everything that is yours is restricted from you. Like mom’s wineglass.
Two is understanding the rules, but generally being defiant of said rules. I figure this is a taste of what teenagehood will be like. Seriously, Two. You are trying my nerves especially this last weekend.
Two is being Thoroughly Displeased with the fact that I wasn’t home for bedtime three nights in a row the other week. Believe me, that was just as hard for me as it was for you. But when you came home with your Nanny on that Thursday and I was there, and you ran over to me with a shriek of joy and flung yourself into my arms, that made the whole situation a lot better.
Of course, then you smacked me, but hey, I’ll overlook that one.
Two is when you get up at 5am on a Sunday and agree to go shopping but refuse to put clothes on. Two is biting and hitting and kicking until I get equally frustrated and start crying. Two is a hug and understanding that you need to stop being a turd. Two is the beginning of compassion.
Two is contrary and frustrated and overjoyed with life all at once. Two loves her parents and finds them entirely aggravating all at the same time. Two is being tired and yet Refusing to Nap even when mom and grandma lie down with you in the big bed. Because it’s much more fun to wiggle around and jump on the bed than it is to sleep (although both mom and grandma could have used a nap).
Two is the reason toddlers are cute, although Alexis says that Three is also a reason (she does not fill me with hope, that one). If Two wasn’t cute, I doubt many kids would survive to Teenager.
Two is needing your mom and your dad to snuggle in order to calm down. Two is “Hug! Hug!” and “Kiss!” before going to bed.
Two is running around the backyard naked in the sun and splashing in your blowup pool. Two is shrieking with laughter as I push you on your swing. Two is chasing and popping bubbles.
Two is good in the morning when I come out of my room and you say, “Mommy! Up’n’down! Hug!” and I pick you up and you wrap your arms around me and in that moment when it’s still dark, everything is perfect and as it should be.
Easter: Before and After
The first long weekend since the New Year here (seriously, what is UP with that?) has passed in a bit of a blur of grandparents, food, regular and not so much regular outings and, chocolate, of course. It was unusually productive too.
The first order of business on Friday was to get the Poptart her first ever haircut. Oma (my mom) and the Poptart and myself all trucked over to Great Clips while Opa (my dad) browsed the buy and sell for a new minivan (more on this later). Somehow, we went from her being a baby:
To being some sort of toddler, or child:
(And this is where Mr. Lady is going to give me hell because she saw the Poptart when the Poptart was only about 2 weeks old and then she moved to Buttocks, Nowhere (Texas) (Mr. Lady, not the Poptart) and hasn’t been back since)
There were no tears at all from the Poptart. I might have sniffled once or twice.
After that we went to a car dealership because Opa wanted to look at a car. When we got there, the salesman (also known as the Most Patient Man In The World), managed to break through Opa’s hostility (seriously, never sell try this man ANYTHING if you want your head to remain attached to your body) and convinced him to go on a test drive.
Meanwhile, the Poptart had a hotdog, a juice box and got a balloon at the dealership. There was no car to be bought, however, it was an almost.
That evening Grandma (Darren’s mom) and Grandpa (Darren’s dad) arrived. My parents left for their condo in Chilliwack, and we ordered pizza of which the Poptart had TWO slices.
Saturday, Grandma, Oma, Opa and I took off to My Gym where the Poptart attends a weekly gym/gymnastics class. Meanwhile, Darren got himself up and put up the new canopy on the deck (why we need a new one is an entire other blog post) and Grandpa put a new faucet on my kitchen sink. He’d picked it up for about $50 a few months ago and sent it down to us, and installed it for us (why it needed replacing is another entire blog post which should be appended to this one).
On Sunday, I borrowed our neighbours’ powerwasher and powerwashed the deck, which turned out quite well, but could use another once- over next week or the week after because I only had about an hour to use it.
On Monday, I rested in the back of my parents’ minivan (not a new one) while Opa drove around for awhile looking at other potential minivans to buy (which he didn’t, because it was pouring). Then we came back to our house while the Poptart napped in the car (while cutting her last two molars. OMG).
We had leftovers for dinner (of which there were many, because Oma brought a turkey, and Grandma brought a ham, and then they brought food as well). Darren phoned from his business trip (OMG. I am carless for a couple of days). And then I went to bed with the Poptart who was not only teething, but probably hopped up on sugar and caffeine (I blame Grandma, Grandpa, Oma and Opa), and woke up for the day at 2:30 am. I got up with her and went to work later after putting her to bed.
And I am so tired. This was going somewhere, really. Instead, I’ll leave you with this totally unrelated picture which I call: Bubble Pack is the New Tinfoil:
Because there are some lessons you can never learn enough
There are some lessons, when you become a parent, that should never be forgotten, or else the Universe will make sure that you remember them. Lessons like:
- no matter how well you secure a drawer, your child will manage to open it and jam their fingers between the top and the box of tea that’s in there;
- toddlers have a right to change their mind about that yogurt they wanted – after you’ve opened the container
- If you try to force the yogurt on them, they will throw it and it will go everywhere;
- if your child is not potty trained, never leave the house without at least one extra diaper and some wipes;
I have relearned these lessons a few times over the last few days.
Last night, she was playing with our kitchen trolley and suddenly started yelling “Stuck! Mama! Stuuuuuuuuck!”
So I went and unjammed her fingers from between the box of tea and the top of the little drawer it was in.
Today, I struck out for Superstore because we needed groceries and the Poptart needed new shoes. Darren had to work for a few hours, so when he got back, we both headed out. I grabbed her snack bag, containing raisins, crackers, juice and water, tucked her in the car and off we went.
We got there, I got her in the buggy, gave her some raisins and we meandered in, through the baby section and into the dairy section. I was making pretty good time, the Poptart was doing well, when all of a sudden she said “Up ‘n down!” stood up and lunged for me.
When I grabbed her to prevent her from going butt over teakettle I found out she was soaking wet.
And I’d dared to go out without an extra diaper and a change of clothes for her.
The great thing about Superstore is that it is the perfect place for this sort of thing. I trucked back to the baby section, grabbed a box of pullups ($21.97) since they don’t carry the brand of diapers we use, a travel pack of wipes ($2.19) then went over to kids clothing and got her a new pair of pants ($10).
Then I went to the cashier and explained and she let me through with just paying for those 3 items so long as I left the rest of the buggy outside the bathroom.
10 minutes later I had a clean, dry, toddler who was hungry. So we went and got a cookie from the bakery (they give one cookie per visit per child under 10) and she munched on that while I went and got the rest of the stuff we needed.
After dinner, she asked for yogurt. When I tried to give it to her, she threw it across the dining room table.
So what lessons have you had to learn (and re-learn) as a parent? Any others I should be aware of as we approach 2?
On Becoming Parents
Two things happened recently that made me realize, we are parents:
1. When I was pregnant, I had a list of Things That My Child Will Not Eat (oh come on. We all have those. If you don’t, I’mma gonna let you finish but call you a liar). Top among those Things was Children’s Yogurt Because They Are Chock Full of Sugar and Other Things That Are Not Good For Them. So I bought full fat, all-natural ORGANIC yogurt and mixed it with Good Things like peaches and prunes and blueberries and yea, the angels rejoiced and the Poptart enjoyed it.
Then came the gastro-intestinal Christmas Thing of Doom wherein she puked up milk twice and since then has refused to drink milk or anything that remotely looks like milk and has also rejected plain yogurt mixed with Good Things.
Enter Minigo. And she scarfs it down like nobody’s business. I suggest you all buy shares in Danone because the share prices will be going up with the amount of yogurt she’s eating.
The upside is that she’s getting her calcium AND will likely not have said GI problems, because, hello, acidophilous! :headdesk:
2. (And I promise this Thing isn’t as long) The other night, we were watching Life as We Know It, which although it made my cry at the beginning is a decent movie.
Anyways, there’s this scene where the guy is watching the Wiggles with the baby because his sports make her cry and the Wiggles make her laugh (and if you’re a parent, this is probably really familiar).
Me: Oh my god, that’s Shannon’s favourite Wiggles video. I thought we’d escaped that when I put her to bed.
Darren: At least it’s Classic Wiggles.
Me: [shocked silence - shocked because I understood it]
Darren: What? It’s got the original Yellow Wiggle.
So file that away, parents and future parents, there are Modern and Classic Wiggles out there.
The Approach of Two
I actually wrote this a couple of days ago. The weekend was sort of sucktastic, and then I found this post, which makes me happy.
The Poptart is 20 months old and is very much a toddler. The problem is, she’s the size of a 3 year old: 28lbs and almost a metre tall. She’s at that point where she can communicate what she wants, most of the time, and we can understand her, most of the time. Except when we can’t.
But god forbid you don’t give her what she asks for. Especially if it’s Smarties at 5:30am. Or that glass of wine you have because SERIOUSLY MOM WHY CAN’T I HAVE IT NOW??????
But if you won’t there’s always the option of flinging herself facedown on the kitchen tile and screeching about it. Or, you know, turning off the hot water tank (seriously. I know we’re doing the Four Hour Body thing, but I refuse to do cold showers)
She loves the Wiggles (I do not any more unfortunately) and will ask for “Wiggles! Tick tock!” (there’s a video that starts with a ticking clock) and she knows all the moves to “Rock a bye your bear” and “Quack Quack”.
She hates when I leave the room to go do laundry. The other week, she had a full out temper tantrum when I went downstairs. Then she threw her otter over the gate and down the stairs and got mad about that, so she threw her phone at it (an old cel phone we don’t use anymore) and then got mad about that. Then she slipped so her legs slipped under the gate at the top of the stairs and kind of got stuck so she got mad about that. And Darren extracted her from under the gate and she did that toddler thing where they get all limp and stiff at the same time and screeched. So he laid her gently on the floor and left her there. She got her otter and phone back when I came upstairs and we had a snuggle on the couch.
(ed. note: We’re very much of the “ignore it and it will go away” mentality when it comes to toddler antics. And when she’s mad, she needs to get over it. We make sure she’s not hurting herself or destroying things of value and keep an eye on her, but from a distance. Within a couple of minutes, she’ll calm down and come for a hug and snuggle. Yes, it takes an incredible amount of patience, but it’s worth it. We talk calmly to her while she’s working out whatever she needs to work out and make suggestions like “Lets get otter and have a snuggle” and will usually get a sniffly “Okaaaaaay” from her.)
If she doesn’t want something to eat, she’ll let you know by throwing it away from herself. But don’t you dare remove it because she WANTED THAT!
I think I understand why some toddlers bang their heads on walls and floors. I feel like that sometimes too when she’s constantly changing her mind about what she wants.
But wakes up and calls “Moooooom!” and it’s the second-best sound in the world. The best sound is her laughing (and I’m sure I’m not the only one who tickles their toddler just to hear them giggle). She gives the best hugs and kisses, and in the morning says, “Bye, Mom! Take care!” and blows kisses. When I get home in the evening she’ll come running to the door, cackling with laughter and yelling, “Mom! Mom! And Dad!” I’ll lay down on the floor and she’ll lay next to me and we’ll snuggle for a bit. Then she’ll roll over and poke me in the eye. “Eyes! And nose! And mouf! And teeth! And tongue!” and we’ll blow raspberries at each other.
I’ll tell her to call Dad for supper and she’ll stand at the top of the stairs and yell, “Dad! Supper!” and the other night after her bath she went to the top of the stairs and yelled “Dad! Upstairs!”
She loves to brush her teeth. We sing the tooth brushing song while she does after her shower or bath, and she dances on the bathroom counter. And she’s just so much FUN.
And at night before bed, she demands “Pegasus” (which is a book of fairytales with a Pegasus on the cover), and we’ll sit there and read a story or some nursery rhymes and she’ll start dozing in my arms. I’ll turn off the light and sing to her then ask her if she’s ready for bed. “Okaaaay,” she says. And gives me a long hug and a kiss.
And I’ll put her to bed and she reminds me to put a blanket on her so I do. I tell her goodnight and I’ll see her tomorrow, and she says, “Bye-bye!” and blows me a kiss. And there’s nothing better than that kind of end to the day.
On Wednesday, watch for a guest post from Katie while I’m off dealing with family stuff. And check out her blog for some awesome recipes too!
Silver linings
When the Poptart was about 10 months old, she weaned from the breast. I just didn’t offer one morning, she didn’t ask, and while I think she would have taken it if I’d offered, she was okay without. She was fully on solids and still got bottles.
At about the 13 month mark, we switched her from formula in her bottles to goat’s milk. She’d guzzle 4 to 6 litres per week, easy. At some point we switched her to cow’s milk, partially because of the cost, and partially because we could buy cow’s milk in 4 litre (gallon) jugs, rather than 2 litre jugs. And she would only drink milk out of a bottle. Water or juice are good in cups (better in glasses) but milk MUST COME FROM A BOTTLE.
At 18 months, she was still getting a bottle pretty much whenever she asked and going through 8-10 litres per week. I wasn’t overly concerned, but I was starting to think about how to wean her from bottles. Because well, she used them a lot. I knew a lot of it was a comfort thing, but honestly, that’s a lot of milk for a 28 lb toddler. She was gaining, but she’d often forego a snack for milk.
She was, in short, a milkaholic.
******* DANGER, WILL ROBINSON: POO AND PUKE TALK FOLLOWS *********
Last week, when I started Christmas Holidays, she got some sort of flu/bug/stomach thing that resulted in, ah, emanations from both ends, if you get my drift. We switched her to disposable diapers because that stuff? Nas-tay.
Also, for a couple of days, she’d throw up whenever we gave her milk. Well, large quantities of milk. Her Friday night bottle came up at about 4:30 am, which wouldn’t have been so bad if Darren hadn’t been felled by the same virus. I cleaned her up, put her in bed with Darren for a few minutes while I cleaned up her bed and threw on a load of laundry, then took her to the blow-up bed to sleep with me.
On Saturday morning, I popped us both in the shower because we both smelled, and she went to sleep. I went to London Drugs where the cashier started to ask how my day was, then stopped when she saw what I was buying: gatorade, pedialyte, febreeze and carpet cleaner.
Monday, I took her to the doctor, who said it has to run its course and to not give her any milk. She was not impressed with the almond milk I gave her.
Anyways, she’s fine now. So is Darren.
And she refuses to drink milk now. So she’s weaned from bottles. Silver linings.
The other side is that she may just eat us out of house and home. She is a machine since not having milk any more, which I suppose means she was filling up on milk.
Holidaze: Vancouver Aquarium meetup anyone?
So because I am super organized, I managed to order the grandparents’ photo mugs last Sunday. Thinking they’d be ready for pickup sometime this week, I had them delivered to the Future Shop on Broadway because it’s close to work. Of course, because I’m on vacation this week, the mugs didn’t arrive in time. What that means is that I have to go into Vancouver sometime next week. Since we’ve been talking about taking the Poptart to the aquarium sometime, we thought we’d go to Vancouver, get the mugs, rescue the portable dvd player from my desk, and go to the aquarium.
So if anyone wants to go, we’ll be heading to the aquarium for about 2:30 on Wednesday afternoon.
If you don’t have an annual pass, you may want to try this trick – it actually pays off quite well if there are two adults and an under-2 going: One adult buys an adult annual pass; the other adult gets in on the one-time use free pass associated with the annual adult pass. The under-2 is free. Then you get 20% off food, gift store, etc. inside.
Pricing information for Vancouver Aquarium.
If you’d like to meet us there, shoot me an email, tweet or leave a comment.
